I have found this idea in an article and it stuck with me. I wanted to share it with you because some of you will relate to this. The idea is that sometimes the people who love us are trying to control us. For example, our parents want to make us into “the perfect child” so they sometimes want to make decisions for us or push us in “the right direction” and expect us to behave. Of course, they only want what’s best for us (in most cases), but they don’t realize that they are also destroying our identity in the process.
So if someone is trying to control you and they ask you to live in a certain way, you may rebel by sabotaging yourself. After all, if they want you to do well and you end up a loser, you’ve won! You have won because you did not let them turn you into their project. You’ve won because you sabotaged their plans.
The only problem is that when you sabotage yourself, you’re also one of the people who lose. Actually, you lose the most because you are unconsciously holding yourself back. You’re not letting yourself do your best and seeing what you are capable of.
But sadly that’s what it happens for many of us. It has happened to me too and it took me many years to see all the harm I was doing to myself, just to feel like I am my own person. Unfortunately, many good people do this without even realizing how much harm they are causing. And we resort to coping mechanisms that work in the short term, but do a lot of damage later on.
If this sounds like something you may have experienced, read more about this and try to develop behaviours that serve you and help you love yourself and live a good life. It’s definitely not easy, but you need to stop sabotaging yourself and realize what amazing things you are capable of!